Part 23: Pains and Gains
The morning Dracstan left, he did not say his farewells. Raina Lynn woke up to find him gone from the cabin, which wasn't unusual, but when a thorough search of the Realm Centre revealed no sign of the Stone Portal, she knew where he had gone. For a long time, she sat by the fountain, watching the water splash down the small carvings of dens and hillocks until it reached the wide pool below. When other dragons started moving through the Centre on their way about morning chores, she blinked at the noise and then took a walk toward the Greenleaf Forest.
She moved until she found a quieter section of the woods, where there was dense brush and a few boulders that made her feel protected. There, the Red Terran sat down again and watched the grass below and the leaves above flutter slowly in the breeze. Summer had reached its height, and in another cycle of the moon, it would give way to the rich season of harvest. Idly, she toed the grass, amusing herself by flipping a few pebbles over and over. She didn't feel like talking to anyone this morning, least of all Krisr and Ramona. She knew that the conversation she was going to have with her bondmate would not be pleasant, and she was tempted to put it off. Surely, Dracstan wouldn't be back for a week or so? But, then again, what if he returned in a few days time and found that she hadn't brought the topic up with Krisr? She could imagine the annoyed glance already. Raina Lynn sighed and flipped the bluish pebble over again, finding the other side tinted brown with dirt.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a pulling sensation in the back of her mind. Krisr... she realized. He must be looking for her. Sure enough, a few seconds later, she heard his voice distinctly in her thoughts.
Raina, my Red queen, where are you? If thou doth not hurry, thou wilst be eating thy breakfast cold...
Coming... she thought back at him, and then slowly got up. She glanced again at the pebbles, as though she were forgetting something, then trotted back toward Bishen Realm.
When she reached the cabin she shared with Krisr, she found that he and Ramona were seated at the table. They hadn't started eating yet, and the food wasn't cold as her bondmate had threatened. Raina Lynn hopped upon the bench.and glanced at them expectantly. By the smell, she could tell that today's breakfast consisted of grain meal, with fresh berries in it, and some sort of sweet, minty tea. She didn't feel like eating, but she didn't want to disappoint Krisr.
"You were up early today, my beautiful little Bishen." Krisr grinned at her, and she immediately felt better. His happiness was infectious, and it did much to dispell her dispirited mood.
*I went for a walk,* she explained, watching as Ramona prepared three bowls of the porridge. It was starting to smell good.
"So, I see Dracstan has gone on his journey..." As always, Ramona immediately went to the heart of matters. She examined Raina Lynn indirectly, but her keen seafoam eyes picked up every detail.
Raina was a bit flustered and felt a pang of the morning's cloud return. *Um, yes... I was expecting him to at least say good-bye... but I suppose that isn't the way he does things.*
"Our dear Portal friend is lacking in the arena of social graces at times," Krisr piped up, eagerly snatching the bowl Ramona offerred him and digging into the warm mixture.
Ramona gave him an indulgent look. He had been off the streets for years, but Krisr still tended to eat like a starved street rat. It was just one of the things that you either hated or loved about him. Her beau glanced up and found her staring and his grey eyes immediately lit up. She just smiled at him and turned to hand Raina Lynn her dish. What she saw and sensed in that instant made her brow furrow slightly, though she attempted to remain impassive.
Raina Lynn had been watching the glances, which her overactive imagination considered absolutely smoldering. She fought down a spike of jealousy and anger, and when Ramona turned toward her to provide breakfast, Raina Lynn ducked her head slightly and pretended to look out the window. The Terran knew it would do nothing to hide her thoughts from the burgeoning telepath, but she had to do something to prevent her annoyed look from becoming an outright glare of disapproval. *Thank you...* she murmured and immediately became very interested in the appearance of the cooked grains.
They ate breakfast a bit awkwardly after that incident. Krisr, of course, prattled on about his grand scheme to get the Kailan to let him sing a ballad to the shrapes at the next Shantel. Ramona laughed and grinned in the right places, and Raina even seemed interested, but there was an undercurrent of tension to which Krisr seemed oblivious. Finally, the meal was eaten and the tea was drunk. Raina cleared the table almost immediately after, eager to get away. Ramona glanced after her.
"Well, I have a lot to do. Sorry to run off, dear, but I'm sure I'll be able to make it back this evening." She stood and then leaned over the table to kiss Krisr quickly on the lips.
Krisr leaned in, trying to make the brief contact last longer as Ramona started to pull away. He received a warn expression in return. "My beautiful fire goddess, I will do nothing but weep and mope until your return. When you are gone, the sun doth not shine."
Raina Lynn, who had been scrubbing one of the wooden bowls with vigor, nearly dropped it and had to stop a trill of surprise that rose to her throat. Krisr had once said those exact same words to her, and she cringed at their use now. Those words were once mine...
Ramona very nearly cringed herself when she felt the burst of shocked and angry thoughts from Krisr's bondmate. She quickly hid the expression when she saw a shadow fall on Krisr's face. She knew he was going to ask her about it, so the sorceress quickly thought up an excuse. "I just remembered. I have to go visit Termut today... ug, how I loathe that psychotic."
Krisr immediately got a mischievous smirk on his countenance. "I believe the correct term is 'psion', my lovely flame... or perhaps you were searching for 'psychic'?"
"Oh, yes, that must be it." Her voice dripped with sarcasm as she rolled her eyes and pulled her hand from Krisr's.
"Have a most wonderful and triumphant day anyway, beautiful wonder. I shall see you before the morrow."
Ramona left, still feeling disquieted by what had passed over breakfast. She had gotten the sense of a slight jealousy from Raina Lynn before, and she couldn't blame the dragon, but this was more than that. This was verging on outright anger from the Red Terran. She hoped that whatever it was, Raina Lynn would talk to Krisr about it soon.
With Ramona gone, Krisr turned his attention to the young Bishel Dragon, and he finally sensed what Ramona had been feeling all through the morning meal. His bond felt chaotic and distressed. "My goodness, Raina Lynn, what's the matter?"
Raina Lynn sighed and tried to think. What was the matter? Krisr tended to reuse old material all the time. And true, he gave Ramona much attention, but she was to be his mate. It was expected. Still, she felt a pit of jealousy in her stomach. Why? she wondered. What's wrong with me? It is ridiculous to be jealous of my bondmate's mate, just as it would be ridiculous to be jealous of anyone else he loved. It doesn't make him care less for me... so why am I so angry?
Then, she realized what is was, and it all connected back to the conversation that she didn't want to have with him. She sighed again and put away the last of the dishes before turning and slowly moving back to the table. She kept her head down, although she could sense Krisr's concerned stare as she took a seat across from him.
*Krisr...* she began hesitantly. *I... I know that you don't want to leave the Refuge.*
Krisr blinked, unable to think of a response. He, instead, blurted out a disconcerted, "What?"
*I know you don't want to leave. I know that you want to stay and mate Ramona.*
Krisr looked down at the table, an expression of regret and sadness crossing his face. "I... I had been hoping to convince you to stay, to convince you that we could have adventures near the Refuge."
*And I had been hoping to convince you to leave, Krisr, but it has become quite obvious lately that you don't want to go.*
"It's just... well... I was severely wounded by that mage... and then there is my goddess Ramona to consider. And, well, it isn't very safe, journeying all the time. For you either! You could be hurt, and then what would I do? I could not bear to see you injured, my queen." Krisr babbled, trying to put into words his fear and dread.
Raina just listened for a moment and then gave him an even stare. *I could tell you that you should get right back into adventuring. I could say that you are just afraid, and that you need to have courage. I could say that if you don't go now, you will regret it later. But I can't make you go... I can't put your heart back into it if it wants to stay here, with Ramona. And what it comes down to, the more I think of it, is that you will not go... and I will not stay.*
The silence after that lasted only a moment, but it was heavy. Krisr broke it.
"Raina... I am truly sorry. We were supposed to have such grand adventures, you and I... we were supposed to be a dynamic duo. I suppose I am what I have always been... a fool and a coward."
*Stop that.* The Red's brow furrowed in a stern glare. *You are not a fool. And you can be afraid without being a coward. You want to follow your heart, and there is never anything wrong with that. It has just come to a point where our hearts are pulling us in different directions. It does happen, you know. Bands break up... heroes settle down. We'll still be bondmates...*
The young man nodded and blew a few black strands from his eyes before looking soulfully into his bondmate's face. "You are truly going to go? Well... that's a relief."
Raina blinked at Krisr, baffled for a moment... until she saw that telltale spark in those familiar grey eyes. *Oh, really... I'm glad you feel that way because, honestly, I can't wait to get away from you two and all your kissing and cooing and 'my goddess'-ing. It's just sickening.*
"Oh, quite disgusting, but there's just no avoiding it. My lady just cannot resist me, and of course, I must oblige. I'm a bit tired of it... but what can a handsome, recently injured man such as myself do differently?"
Raina broke into a smile, unable to hold the ruse. She sighed and cocked her head at Krisr. *You know, I really will miss you when I am off traveling. Even all those songs of yours.*
"I shall miss you dreadfully, my Red queen. The departure of your beauty from Bishen Realm shall be felt by all... the male dragons most acutely, I think."
Raina Lynn looked skyward at that comment. *Thank the Goddess I will be leaving that behind.*
"Mark my words. Someday, you will meet the right dragon, and all those adventuring urges will just disappear."
*Ha! Certainly not. Any dragon that catches my fancy will have to have adventuring blood in him.*
"Well, now that we have agreed upon our relative locations, do you suppose we might spend a day companionably at Bishen Realm? I assume you will not be departing until our Portal friend returns."
*Yes... and then, it will be time for the mission Indyana has been planning for us. Have you managed to extract any information from Ramona about it?* Raina peered at him curiously.
"Alas, she is a maiden of ice and stone when it pleases her! I have nothing for ye, o' adventurer extraordinaire."
*Alas, indeed,* Raina Lynn murmured. She gazed through Krisr, imagining what awaited her. It would all wait a few more summer days, until the return of Dracstan.
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Last Updated: March 4, 2007